Most relationships fail because sometimes people confuse the idea of being in love and that of being a lover. Confused? Well, being in love is great and it usually takes no effort to fall for someone, but being a lover comes with a certain responsibility that one needs to take for the relationship to grow and become stronger with each passing day. So let’s get to the point, how to be a good lover?
1. Build Trust
The most obvious answer to how to be a good lover is trust! Trust between two people in love is the force that binds them together. Trust is not something that just ‘happens’, in fact it is something that needs to be built and constantly worked upon. Being honest and keeping things transparent are essential to build trust. Also, trust your partner with decisions that affect the two of you.
2. Be Spontaneous
Most people complain about love ‘fading away’ with time. It’s not love but the lovers that slowly start fading away. So how do you avoid that? How to be a good lover, a lover so divine, that you never ‘fade’? Keep the spirit and energy of your relationship alive. Don’t get into mundane and routine patterns, invite spontaneity. Whether it’s a spontaneous holiday, or dinner, or romance… always keep the person guessing what’s next!
3. Take And Give Space
A big part of knowing how to be a good lover is knowing when to and when not to smother the other person with love. Don’t let the love in your life become suffocating. Allow breathing space for both you and your partner. It’s important to be independent individuals and give each other space to grow.
4. Mutual Respect
Respect your partner and their choices. It is not necessary to always be on the same page, but that does not make one wrong and the other right. Just learn to live and let live by allowing your partner to take decisions and respect those decisions.
5. Communicate
Knowing how to be a good lover is knowing how to say what you want to say, the right way. Having an open communication channel is the greatest need for love to grow into something beautiful. Lack of communication can create differences and bring in unspoken desires that ultimately result in distance between a couple. Encourage communication and communicate honestly.
6. Appreciate
It’s human nature to want to be appreciated. It’s also human nature to want to praise. The answer to the question how to be a good lover is incomplete without acknowledging these two facts. Be it a small gesture or a big one, appreciate your partner for all the big and small things they do for you. Also, appreciate the things they do for themselves.
7. Show Off Your Love!
How to be a good lover in public? Do you hide it, cover it up, overdo it? Well, there is really nothing more beautiful than a person being confident about his or her love for their partner. Be it at a party or a social gathering, be proud about your partner and let that pride be evident through words and gestures.
8. Keep The Flame Burning
Don’t let intimacy die down. It’s a very important part of every relationship, and a mandatory part of knowing how to be a good lover. It should never become a routine, or even worse, non existent! Physical contact is important in all its forms.
9. Pay Attention
Whether your partner gets a new haircut or is taking important career decisions, pay attention to all the big and small things in their life. If it’s important for them, it should be important for you too. It a big part of knowing how to read your lover, and how to be a good lover!
Well, that’s not very hard, is it? Being a good lover is no rocket science after all. As long as you and your partner have mutual love and respect, along with being a constant support system to each other, love will find its way. Just don’t let everyday routines or ego come in between your love. So do you think you are a good lover?
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