Marriages need a lot of work and sometimes just a little help when things just don’t go as planned. A failing marriage is a real problem. Either you stop loving each other, or they start loving someone else or may be even you get attracted to a third person. There comes a time when you may feel like you can’t handle it all and it’s becoming a failing marriage, and simply falling apart.
So What Do You Do About A Failing Marriage?
In moments like these, you need to do two things – identify the problems and signs and fix it. Let’s talk about some of the signs you may notice that are indicators that you marriage is falling apart, and how you can save it.
1. Distance
Distance is a sign of a bad marriage if not a failing marriage. You start feeling this awkward distance between your minds. You find it hard to connect and relate to your partner. He/she doesn’t happen to be the first person you want to share news with. And no quick fix solution is possible.
2. Silence In A Failing Marriage
Silence is definitely not a sign of true love from a woman or a man. It is one of the biggest signs of a failing marriage. You can sit quietly in a room for hours and have absolutely nothing to talk about. You wake up and mutter a ‘good morning’ and go to bed with a disinterested ‘good night’ and have no meaningful conversation in between.
3. Cribbing
You find yourself cribbing and crying about each other’s flaws all the time. No matter where you go, ‘how fed up I am’ is the only thing you can think about. You cant even imagine how you can save the relationship.
4. Peace(-less)
There is no peace in each other’s company; instead you would rather be happy without each other. Their work commitments in different cities no longer make you sad. You look at those as opportunities to regain your calm. Or you find a fix for a failing marriage, somewhere else.
5. Outings
Without each other! You love going out with your friends and family as long as it’s some place away from your partner. You dread the moment you have to come back into your real life with them. This is one of the most commonly unchecked signs of a failing marriage or a failing relationship.
6. Fights In A Failing Marriage
There is no calm in your household. You are ready to pounce at each other with accusations for things as silly as ‘who left the lights on.’ You don’t need a major reason to get mad at each other now.
7. Intimacy
Another sign of a failing marriage and a cry for help is a lack of those special moments. You start feeling like there is no intimacy left in your relationship. The closest you come to each other is when you forcibly have to be together for the public eye.
8. Interests
You have no interest in each other’s lives now. Neither do you share updates from your life nor do you show interest in their life. This is the last straw normally, and a sure sign of a failing marriage.
Do any of the above mentioned signs remind you of your own failing marriage? If you still haven’t given up and know it in your heart that you don’t want to part ways then here are some of the things you can do to revive the lost spark in your marriage. But remember, if it’s important, it will require hard work.
1. Communication Is Key In A Failing Marriage
I understand that the communication must be dead by now, but try. Try to talk, pick up small topics like daily chores, or the kids. This will help because healthy communication is the key to almost everything. And when it comes to a failing marriage, it’s a way to start again.
2. Express
There are always some hidden and unspoken feelings inside the heart, whether it’s a failing marriage or a successful one. Express and tell them how you truly feel. Talk about what you expect, in simple terms. Maybe later, you can talk about where you think things took a wrong turn and how you can make it work. You can try short love messages.
3. Ask
Don’t just keep talking about your feelings because the problem has to be from both sides. Ask your partner about what they are feeling. When it comes to it, ask them where they think you went wrong.
4. Introspect
Sometimes, after marriage, we get so engrossed in the lifestyle that we stop looking after ourselves. We only focus on getting by each day and start looking dull and behaving dull. And before you know it, one thing lead to another and now you’re dealing with a failing marriage and wondering how you can save it. Introspect and think whether you’ve become dull and have stopped trying to be your best.
5. Flirt
Flirting never hurts, in fact in relationships, and even failing marriages, it helps bring back the lost fun-quotient that you had. So flirt a little to remind yourselves of the time you first fell in love with each other and you can still fix the relationship.
6. Outings
Ask your partner out on a coffee date or a dinner date (whichever suits you more). Begin the process of getting to know each other all over again. You never know, the conversation might make you both realize the main problem of your failing marriage. Or it might be signs of a new beginning.
7. Parenting
When it comes to a fix for a failing marriage where children are involved, so much more is the issue. It is important to do everything you can to save it. Focus on working as a team for the sake of your children and also for what you both have built. Don’t work as individual parents, work together as a team to give your children the best happy childhood and life that they deserve.
All the signs of a failing marriage might seem like the end of things but it never really is. If you want to, and if you do work hard enough, you might just end up making your marriage happier than ever. All it needs is a bit of love and effort.
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