There exists a fairly odd version, the lover-haters. They love each other, but it’s just so much more fun and chemistry when there’s an aura of aggressive hate tainting that mellow love. Sometimes it’s just a competitive streak and sometimes it’s a barely concealed need to beat the s**t out of the other.
These couples mess up Valentine’s day under normal circumstances, with both parties playing spoilsport. Or maybe there’s a way out for them? Yes, there is.
1. Paintball
RL FP shooter mode never looked more accurate. Obviously you can’t just play with the two of you, unless it’s midnight and you’re both in a forest, and using glow paint. No no, scratch that. Get your pals, and go have a Valentine fight to remember.
2. Tango
Hehe. Time to use all that negative mojo the right way. And what better way to do it than a fast track dance course. It doesn’t have to be tango. It can be anything that lets you two stalk around the room and glare at each other.
3. Shopping For The Other Person
Of all the nasty, evil things mankind has ever come up with, shopping for the other person has to top the list. So here’s how to play. You both allocate a specific amount of cash you will be spending, if you want, and then buy the other something. Then you’ll each have to wear said selection pieces for an hour or two, or if you’re not pranking each other, the whole day. If you’re pranking each other, then have some basic rules, like not forcing the other to roam around in undies (unless it’s at home). If you’re just a Gucci loving couple, who don’t like each other’s tastes in clothing, and will be using the day to prove your point, then this one’s easy.
4. The Amusement Park
This one’s really underrated. Seriously! Remember going on the school picnic with your whole division, and then glaring at your worst enemies in gangs, while you do the same stuff? Yes, well, the two of you should take a bunch of friends and get moving. Bonus points for slipping in alcohol and then rolling with the high lows. Don’t worry about being too old for the amusement park. Ryan Gosling in 35 and Rachel McAdams is 37.
5. Game Arcade
If you like fighting, and you’ve both already done the paintball thing, and the football thing, and the other stuff, and you’re bored, then try out the game arcade. Sure, you’d get kicked out at 9 p.m. but you can continue this at home. The competitive atmosphere is great for fire and ice chemistry moments.
6. A Fast Track Kick Boxing Class
Or Muay Thai; just any old kung fu or fighting art. The plan is to spend a day safely beating each other up, in the presence of an adult who’ll stop you two when it gets messy. After that, you know, you can both have a good cry and become friends again.
7. Go Karting
You can only do this for, what, five hours max, before the size of the tiny things makes you both really uncomfortable. But, have a list, with musical numbers for each activity. Do this and then go water skiing and then horse riding, or whatever else you have in mind. Horse riding will make you both very sore, and not in a good kind of way; you’ll not be able to do anything else after that, except sit on a hot bottle and whine.
8. A Day At A Private Beach
The same problem with go karting, but it really depends on you two. If you’re at the beach, water sports (water skiing, beach volley, surfing) are like something you can do for a whole afternoon. Gangs are better for extreme competition. After that, find yourselves a nice little luau, or something of the equivalent, and get beach bonking later.
9. Run Away For A Day
You can’t plan anything in advance. You better not even think about ruining it like that. You both wake up on Valentine’s day, google what to do on Valentine’s day, see this awesome option, and go, “Let’s do it.” Take whatever you need; pretend you’re running from the law if you must, or the paparazzi, or everybody you both know, and make like the wind for a day, and listen to PillowTalk for added enthu.
10. The Perfect Date
Fairly simple. Slightly creepy, but it’s the two of you, so no one will really freak. It could have been that one college date that you want to do over, or this fantasy date you never got the chance to make reality. It could involve this date you saw in a movie or in a TV series. It could be something you both make up.
11. Cosplay Day
This one involves spending the whole day, and night, in a specific character’s skin. It could be cute, like Shamy, or some retro couple like in Grease, or do downright creepy with Haku And Zabuza. Or one of you can be Godzilla and the other can be a MUTO fly? You have to do it right, with costumes, and accessories and dialogue nuances, and stuff. And keep a first aid kit on standby.
12. The Anger Room
If you don’t have one, where you’re at, prepare a makeshift version. You’ll need old stuff, so you’ll have to go find the recycler, and buy stuff from him. You can use whatever you want, as long as you clean up afterwards. And you can trash anything, but can’t beat each other up.
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